AssyriskaFF v Qviding FIF – Preview

By: Luka | August 22nd, 2009

When: Monday 24th, 1am Australian Eastern Time.

Where: Sodertalje Arena

Why: It’s the league, they have to play

How: On C Sports of course.

Don’t ask me how to pronounce this team’s name. Apparently, Norrkoping is pronounced “Norsshoping”, so I best leave it within the realms of speculation. Now, I foreshadowed the possibility of not writing up a preview, but I just find this too damn fun to resist, so here it is for the few (million-gazzilion!) souls interested.

Pre-match subjects of interest:
Assyriska enters this game in confident mood, following their brilliant mauling of Sundsvall, and point gained away to Angelholms which in hindsight, considering the short recovery time and general happenings of the match itself, can be regarded as a positive outcome in the end. According to coach Robert Johansson, the team is getting better each match and is enjoying some heart-warming harmony and the group are optimistic about what is to come. I would tend to agree with the first point, as we surely would have lost against Angelholms had it been a month or so ago.

As for Qviding (guess who that is pictured for them), their coach wonderfully declares “The basic idea is to stand up and offer to dance”. Ah google translate, forever serving up a breathtaking array of soundbites to satisfy our comedic cravings.

Defender Fredrik Samuelsson evaluates Assyriska’s performances from a defensive perspective, grumbling at the frustration of being punished for almost every mistake we seem to make. He said that at times teams would score on every attack they had against us. Unfortunately there will be little reprieve in this regard if we envisage a prolonged future in the Allsvenskan.

Now, here are some interesting statistics (which I have presented in the form of Babylonian numbers as a challenge and certainly not to mask the fact that I actually have zero statistics to present…)

Team news:
Goran Marklund will be out for at least 2 weeks, while Tiago will also miss the game. Furthermore, key winger Peter Furuseth is suspended, and will most likely be replaced by fellow winger Kristoffer Näfver. My favourite defender, Martin Lorentzon, returns from suspension to solidify the impenetrable (but sometimes generous) wall that is our defense.

Surely, surely we have the team and the form and the confidence to send Qviding home in defeat quite comfortably right? Right?!

Big massive news:
Assyriska will be welcoming back one of its former sons, a certain Assyrian-Swede by the name of Andreas Yacob-Haddad, the man who headlined our first and for now sole venture into the Allsvenskan and was generally a massive hit with the Zelge faithful.

However, now is the present and the present is now, and in the present that is now, we have our own Assyrian striking sensation (and occasional touchline maestro) Eddie Moussa (pictured admiring his admirable thighs) in the ranks ready to put on another show in the triumphal procession toward promotion.

Wikipedia scouting:
Qviding FIF formed in October 1987 in a merger between BK Qviding and Fräntorps IF, and according to the infallible Wikipedia (all heil!), our opposition-in-waiting (or should I say, fodder) can call upon a significant fan base, with a sizable band of followers in Ireland no less. Qviding can also draw upon the services of the youngest of the three Elmander brothers, Peter. Now, since I have offered scant analysis of any sort about our opposition have a read of this.

Welcome back to the Ninveh Arena, Andreas !