AssyriskaFF 1-1 Qviding FIF: The unwritten laws of football

There are plenty of them, for example, when you are behind and score a penalty, the goalkeeper must desperately cling on to the ball at the back of the net, as the penalty kick scorer runs over and nicely asks for the ball back. Like a child holding the last lollipop in the backyard, the goalkeeper refuses to relinquish the ball, and thus a scuffle breaks out – despite that fact that there are dosens of balls all over the ground waiting to be placed back on the halfway line. Oh no, the striker must have that one. Others, such as my new favourite – your teammate fouls an opposition player, who then goes to ground (and is probably injured), you now must kick the ball at that player as soon as the whistle is blown in a complete lack of shamelessness for all to see. These are more unwritten guidelines of player behaviour, rather than laws, but they serve as a precursor for the greatest, most infallible and perpetually observed unwritten law of the game:

“Thoust former player must score against former club”

How do you think Craig Bellamy manages to score at least 5-10 goals per season despite being both pants and constantly out of favour? Well, it’s because he has more former clubs than Happy Gilmore.

This leads to the extremely frustrating, depressing, and downright sit in the corner and ponder the meaning of life performance Assyriska put out yesterday. Testament to the melancholic nature of this draw (yes, it wasn’t even a loss) is that its taken me so long to bring myself to attempt to write a match report for this game (by match report, I mean my usual disjointed description of the various events I can remember from the game, and what my internet connection permits me to see). I said attempt, so it shouldn’t surprise you to learn that I cannot bear to describe what I saw. I’ll still provide my usual summary, manager reactions, and explain the aftermath (it isn’t the end of the world, regardless of what some people are thinking). Those “some people” may or may not include me (but almost certainly does).

Some thoughts: Martin Lorentzson started at right midfield despite being a defender (and despite Samuelsson generally only impersonating one). Eddie Moussa should play on the wing, not up front. Both Nafver and Dos Santos have proven to be flops of the highest order. Bear in mind Nafver was supposed to replace Aziz Corr Nyang. All in all, this team is still good enough on paper to beat a Qviding side relying on a striker who has played only twice in 2 years as their main goal threat (and what a sound policy this proved to be for them). But, this result proves why I never go with paper when playing ’scissors, paper, rock’. Paper is useless.

Goals:
1-0 Llumnica 5′
1-1 Haddad 18′

That’s right, Mr Assyriska himself, Andreas Yacob-Haddad coming to haunt the club he has been training with for the good part of two years.

Haddad’s thoughts:
….which will either exacerbate one’s feelings of belligerence, or fill one’s heart with a warm glowing warming glow (this writer is leaning more towards the former):

“There were mixed feelings in this game, clearly. I love Assyriska.”

Andreas, unsurprisingly, chose not to celebrate his goal, and was applauded throughout the match by the Zelge supporters.

Now, I do not know what annoys me more. The fact that a player who was training with us, whom we released merely months ago, who used to be our leader, who is obviously still loved by the fans was allowed to sign for another club in the league, or that he just had to score against us in his second game back. Plus he didn’t just score. He was the most dangerous player on the field, and should have scored another but missed seemingly out of pity.

Post-match reactions:
Assyriska coach Roberth Johansson – “We must identify what made it such a poor performance today” (in other words, he doesn’t know and frankly neither does anybody else). We started great until they made it 1-1. Then we are really good but then we lose total momentum. We turn away a huge number of passing and movement therefore becomes very poor.” The picture says it all.

Qviding’s Lars Borgstrom was annoyingly jubilant, stating “As the game progresses, and especially the second half, we are unhappy that we did not win. Tactically we make a very good game. It is just these missed chances that give a bitter taste.” He suggested (rightly) that Qviding should have won the game, and added “But it is still nice with one point” (don’t let his words fool you, he was jubilant).

Aftermath:
I’ll cover this in my next blog as my disappointment subsides and I am able to write more coherently.

****Tihe Assyriska!****

Category: Match Reviews, Team News