Last Minute Drama – We Did It, Just.

By: Luka | October 25th, 2009

My oh my. There is only one way Assyriska knows how to do things – the hard way. The uncanny ability to transform the simple into the complicated and then into the heart-palpitatingly dramatic is truly a trait which makes following this team so unnervingly difficult, yet in the end so rewarding when things go well. Last night/this morning/whenever the hell it happened, things went well. Eventually.

The journey was tough, the potholes on the road resembled meteoric craters, and we faced massive obstacles along the way (some of our own doing, but they were obstacles nevertheless). However, all that matters is that we reached our destination in the end. How we did it may in fact benefit us in the future, if only by strengthening the individual players’ mental resolves and binding the team together with a belief that success can be found even in times of adversity and affliction. Goran Marklund’s late season return from injury is testament to this.

Rhetoric and lame poetic attempts aside, we have finally secured a playoff against an Allsvenskan team, and this is a fragmented chronicle of those dramatic events (using Australian Eastern Standard timing):

1:00am: Kick off. Assyriska is away to Jonkopings, backed by a hefty number of rowdy and vociferous traveling Zelge fans. GIF Sundsvall meanwhile is away to Landskrona BoIS in what should be a relatively straightforward affair. Finally, the psuedo-ethnics are clinging on to feint hopes of promotion as they host Sirius, the latter needing a win to avoid relegation.

1:15am Relief. Sundsvall collapse yet again, as they find themselves 2-0 down already.
AFF & SFC are still 0-0 in their respective games.

1:26am Horror. We are down 1-0. Our worst nightmare is coming to fruition – with Sundsvall and Assyriska trailing, the pseudo-ethnics need only a win to sneak through the door. I begin to feel sick. The butterflies in my stomach turn to gyrating daggers. Luckily, Sirius appears to be in a comfortable position, and the score in Sodertalje remains 0-0.

1:32am Elation! Eddie Moussa equalises for Assyriska, sending the Assyrians in Jonkopings and beyond into a frenzy. As it stands, we are back in 3rd place, and in control of our own destiny.

1:33am The harsh reality that we are talking about Assyriska here sets in, and before I can even sit back down, Jonkopings retake the lead within seconds. Those daggers return. I ponder whether a life in the Superettan while our rivals are in the Allsvenskan is worth living.

1:45am It’s round about half time, and Sundsvall continue to pathetically capitulate. They are now 3-0 down. In Sodertalje, and despite a half seemingly dominated by Sirius, the score ominously remains 0-0. Meanwhile in Jonkoping, Conny Karlsson has the difficult task of addressing the anxiety clearly affecting his side. At the moment, we are still in 3rd place, despite trailing given the result in Sodertalje. However, relying on other results can be a recipe for disaster. Accordingly, when asked after the if he had an eye on how things were going in Sodertalje, Conny Karlsson revealed “No. I assumed that Syrianska would win.”

2:00am The second halves resume more or less in unison. I can now ignore the Sundsvall match and consign it to irrelevancy (they are eventually embarrassed 5-2).

2:15am The magical 60th minute mark sets in, and the two scores of interest remain unchanged. The pseudo-ethnics make a substitution – Christos Christoforidis on – just as he did in the Derby, and just as he did in the Derby, almost turned everything against us. The pseudo-ethnics began to take hold of their game, and it merely became a matter of time until they scored.

2:24am Besim Kunic puts the pseudo-ethnics in front, part consigning Sirius to relegation, but most importantly, sends his side into 3rd place at our expense. Despondent and cursing the utter cruelty of luck and lamenting past disasters which should never have been, the frustration of being stuck in the Superettan for another year (after more or less 15 years stuck in this rut) sinks in.

2:28am Before I am done with cursing the entire world and all of it’s inhabitants, from the birds to the trees, to that annoying dog which barks any person who walks past his owners’ home, Eddie Moussa strikes again to reinstate hope in this world:

Surely, surely this will be the end of the drama? Syrianska’s game is now meaningless given our current result and Sundsvall were out of it before we even had time to yet again curse the loss of Aziz Corr Nyang to them, so what could possibly go wrong?

2:38am Resignation overwhelms the body. Take me now, for it is my time to go, I cry. Within 10 minutes of Eddie Moussa’s moment of inspiration, and symmetrically 10 minutes left, Jonkopings regain the lead. Desolation becomes more than just a feeling. The red and yellow (and treacherous) half of Sodertalje rejoice.

2:47am The most beautiful, the most important, the most dramatic yet the ugliest, most illegal and downright comical goal sends a thousand or so traveling supporters into raptures, and brings me damn near to tears of joy.

It was a handball by Llumnica, the shot was as powerful as one you’d see in an under 6’s match, and it only beat the keeper after taking a bobble, but by God was this goal celebrated like no other! Xehvdet Llumnica, on for the king Marklund after only 15 minutes, is once again the hero as he was in the Derby, and once again breaks the hearts of all those confused Assyrians in Sodertalje. We are in the Allsvenskan qualifiers! No Hollywood producer/writer wannabe could write a more dramatic script than this one.

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Last-minute goalscoring hero Xehvdet Llumnica:

“The fans deserved this. I’m pleased for them and for the club.

Should I be honest, I got the ball in my hand first. The shot was not really hard but the ball touches their players so I think the goalkeeper was lured by it.“

Dennis Östlundh:

“We are showing incredible strength.“

Also heroic two-goal man Eddie Moussa:

Speaking about the period where it was 3-2 to Jonkopings, and Syrianska were going through:
“We were craving revenge. All needed it – we and the audience.”

About the massive traveling support:
“It is wonderful to have such a crowd with us. This means a lot because I am Assyrian and have played in the club a long time.”

The Not Too Distant Future:

What: Two-leg playoff against either of Hammarby, Djurgardens or Orgryte.
When: First leg in Sodertalje on the 4th of November, return leg away on the 8th.
What they say: “It does not matter who we may face, but it’s more fun with the audience. So any time Bajen [Hammarby] or Djurgarden”, said Eddie Moussa after the match when quizzed on who he would prefer to face. Coach Conny Karlsson was equally diplomatic, saying “It does not matter. A Stockholm team is of course exciting publicly speaking, but otherwise I have no comment.”

Now we all have some well earned recovery time before the real business begins.