Where to start…

By: Luka | August 6th, 2009

Ok, so doing a simple search for “Assyriska” in the entire offside website brought one measly entry (quite informative, I must however add so I suggest you give it a read). In fact, I implore you to read it as it will save me plenty of time and effort. And that’s an order!

Now, there is plenty of information floating around cyberspace to allow you to become an overnight expert on the context and history of this magnificent club, so again, I won’t delve into any details on here in that regard. Similarly, I don’t want this blog to be a library resource for all things Assyriska. Instead, this will be dedicated to bringing its worldwide followers an English source of news on the team, (un)expert analysis of matches, transfers, opinions and crazy ramblings from me at 5am after watching a match online demanding the coach to be sacked and replaced by Ammo Baba (may he rest in peace)

If you are a non-Swedish speaker and have attempted to follow Assyriska over the years, you’d be familiar with the drawbacks of having to rely on ‘google translate’ to satisfy your daily (or, in my case, hourly) cravings for news on the latest developments around the club. You would also know that for years now the club have promised that ’soon the Official Website will be available in English.’ Well until that happens, this is what we have to deal with:
“Frustration was high in the last home match against Falkenberg. Assyriska took large parts of the game, but we got to go home with 0-2 in the ass. What really happened? Göran Marklund took nor what happened, but summarizes it well in her blog, there is no point burying itself too deep for such a heavy cod … “

Wow, what a pioneering club – the team of a nation without a country, and probably the first to have a female as one of its star strikers. I also vaguely recall donkeys being involved, though I have been wrong before.

Anyway, I will end this conjecture filled, over-the-top use of first person narrative mode riddled, and hopefully cult-following producing blog with quite possibly the corniest, yet catchiest and most emotionally potent pop song ever made specially dedicated to the modern-day miracle that is Assyriska Föreningen Södertälje, who will one day rise back to the top echelons of Swedish football (the Allsvenskan).